It's About Goddamn Time

So the Broncos' preseason schedule officially kicked off yesterday. There was some good, and some bad, and I don't know if you heard this- Bill Walsh died. I know. It's practically off the radar. I think there might be some sort of government conspiracy, because no one's talking about it. Check the technique:

BIG MONEY:

• Travis Henry is a beast. I don't think it's at all premature to say the Broncos haven't had a runner who can break tackles like Trav since a certain number 30 who kept getting migraines was toting the rock. Okay, maybe a little presumptuous, but a welcome change from Tatum Bell, who fell down if you so much as gave him a dirty look.


• Dan Graham, my friends, is a mutherfucking MAN. On the first goal line attempt, he was blocking roughly half the 49ers defense. Unfortunately, no one else could be bothered.


• Jay Cutler. It was only one series, but even Jaworski noticed him checking off of his primary receiver when covered. He threw the ball well, and looked faster than I thought he would. good drive, and get the hell out.


• The offensive line as a whole. They were blowing huge running lanes and kept pressure to a minimum. A nice sign for a unit that's more unsettled than at any time under RatFace.


• Abdullah/ Cox/ Cargile. It's getting borderline insulting to watch the 3-4-5 safeties flying around and making plays, and then watch Lynch run into the frame 3 seconds after the play was over to help up the other team's running back, or Ferguson do absolutely nothing. Hamza the Hammer especially was flying around and just killing dudes. He looked like a fast version of Kenoy Kennedy.


• Nate Webster was pretty much the only guy in the front seven who was making plays.

WHAMMIES OF THE WEEK:

• Anyone else worried about the defensive line? Because those guys really sucked. No pressure whatsoever. I counted one play where the front four pushed the QB out of the pocket (or to the ground) without it being as a result of good coverage down field- Dumervil's sack. Then the 49ers just ran screens and draws at him to compensate for his over pursuit. And a starting front 4 of Engelberger/ Gordon/ Adams/ Ekuban is about the worst front four in the league. The rookies better earn their big boy pants with the quickness.


• Patrick Ramsey. God he throws like a girl. and not a good-throwing girl. He throws like my grandma, who has osteoporosis and isn't allowed to bowl any more.


• Domenik Hixon. Because of his complete inability to come back for Ramsey's wounded ducks, any ball thrown to him had as much a chance as being caught by the other team as it did being caught by Hixon.


• The douche bag in the Elway jersey who was always in the background. when they were interviewing Broncos. Yes, we see you talking on your phone. Yes, all your buddies see you. Good- hold up the jersey so we can see the number. Now wave your hand up and down for no apparent reason. Then flash a peace sign. Repeat until Michelle Tafoya throws it back to the booth. Congratulations! Everyone hates you.


• ESPN. There should never be a camera in the booth. No one needs the compelling television of watching three old guys sitting and talking. I also don't need 45 minutes of Jerry Rice highlights. Or the picture in picture dealie where a third of the screen is covered by a bunch of red and an ESPN logo.

STOP!:

• My new favorite player might be Wesley Mallard, because he sounds like a cartoon carachter. "Stay tuned, kids, next up is Wesley Mallard and his sidekick, Zippy the Fire Safety Squirrel!"


• former CU Buff Brian Iwuh led the Jaguars in tackles for their preseason game, for whatever that's worth.


• Seriously though- Bill Walsh died. I bet you didn't know that.