Well, Something Was Too Dark

Some guy I never heard of was arrested back in March. The cops said they pulled him over for having window tint that was too dark. From the article:

"Hill said the department has been cracking down on window tint violations because too dark windows block an officer's view of who is inside a car and can put the officer in a dangerous situation."

Let's examine this. You pulled him over, theoretically, because not seeing into the car puts officers into a dangerous situation. Had the officers not pulled him over, they wouldn't have been in any situation, dangerous or not. They would've gone on their way, growing their mustaches and harassing teenagers. So the cops put themselves in a situation that they then decided was too dangerous because of dark, um, windows. Yes, windows. That's it.

Point two: Have the cops in Charlotte never seen a conversion van? These are the vans you see parked outside middle schools all day long. Usually they have a big mural of a wolf on a mesa or an ancient mythical valkyrie on the side. The valkyrie often is in a bikini and is carrying a spear. They don't have any windows at all. Do the Charlotte police pull these guys over for "Driving While Van?" I sure hope so, otherwise they could potentially be passing up the chance to put themselves into dangerous situations. Who knows what's inside the van? It could be a team of crack guerrilla terrorist warriors hell bent on destroying the city of Charlotte, or it could have a guy in a trench coat handing out lollipops and telling kids to "lick it slower. Slooooowweerrrr. Yeah, just that Tiffany." My van has a sweet water bed and a disco ball and a sticker on the outside that says, "If this van's a rockin, don't wait up for your mom."

I have no idea what the point of this post is any more. Let me go back and check...

...oh yeah- this guy was definitely arrested for Driving While Black. I can definitely sympathize. I'm often arrested for Driving While Handsome, usually by two busty lady cops fresh out of the academy. They say, "I'm sorry sir, but we're going to have to frisk you," and then they pull out their handcuffs, only the handcuffs are the fuzzy kind, which I'm pretty sure aren't police issued. It's pretty traumatizing, until the busty lady cops and I team up to catch the smugglers, and we all find the love that turned out to be right in font of our eyes the whole time. My story was recently turned into a movie so that others might learn from my plight. It's called "Passionate Justice," and can currently be seen on Cinemax.