Vic Carucci over at nfl.com is obviously having trouble generating interest in this time of year. He's listed the five teams who have done the most this offseason, and the five who have done the least. It's pretty standard practice for this time of year, when there's nothing to report, and nothing to analyze, for writers to make up top 5 or top 10 lists, just to get people to read their tripe. Really, the NFL should change their Hall of Fame voting to be released right about now, so that people could at least bitch about Art Monk not getting in. Does that ever get old, hearing fat Redskins fans in dresses and pig noses complain about a pretty good receiver not getting in to the Hall of Fame? Answer- no, no it does not.
What was I talking about? Oh, yeah- top 5 offseason. New England's there, of course. Adalius Thomas, Randy Moss, blah blah blah. Next up comes San Francisco with their Nate Clements and their Safety Who Only Missed One Tackle In His Entire College Career. No problem there. Third came Detroit. Vic lists "upgrades" including The Human Turnstile, FumblePants, and TJ Duckett. Way to improve, Detroit! Fourth was Tampa Bay, who added 47 backup quarterbacks, a tackle with a broken leg, and Cato June. Last on the list was the Browns, who added a guard, two rookies, and Jamal Lewis. My stance on Jamal Lewis is well known.
So you're telling me that a team that added a Pro Bowl corner, potential Pro Bowl tight end, edge rushing rookie end, reliable slot receiver, and Pro Bowl running back didn't do better than Detroit, Tampa, and Cleveland? For shame, Vic Carucci. Maybe the Sam Adams thing did the Broncos in. When asked for comment, Sam Adams was dismayed to learn that this reporter was, in fact, going to finish his chili fries.
Really, Oakland improved the most. Any time your team subtracts Art Shell, Tom Walsh, and Aaron brooks from your roster, you're bound to be better. They could have a big wheel on the sidelines, and the team could just have fans come up and spin the wheel, and on the wheel would be different plays. Those would be the plays that the offense would run. And it would still be more effective than Tom Walsh's offense, which I think he stole from Super Tecmo Bowl.
Also, stay tuned for my top 5 fashion trends for summer! Sneak preview- jean shorts. but shh, don't tell anyone!
1 comment:
I saw that TB is still courting Ol Jake to "come back" and play QB. That's real confidence in their other guys.
Summer Fashion: how about the shorts everyone sports now with the strings hanging off the bottom. Why do I think in 10 yrs we'll be laughing at those?
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