Stay Safe Out There, Kids

Adam Jones and Chris Henry were handed down suspensions today. Henry got 8 games, and Jones got a full year. That means they'll be sitting around doing nothing. Which means they'll probably get in more trouble. Idle hands are the devil's playground, as my Grandma used to say. At least I think that's what she was saying. I was too busy throwing rocks at birds to pay attention.

I think it's worth noting that both Henry and Jones played football at West Virginia. Randy Moss went to Marshall, which is in West Virginia. Jason "White Chocolate" Williams was Moss's high school QB. Even Todd Sauerbrun, late of a suspension for banned substances, went to West Virginia. I guess what I'm trying to say is that West Virginia must be the most horrible place on Earth. You could take 15 year old Mormon honor student out of Utah and I promise that by age 18 you could find him passed out and toothless on a porch surrounded by brown jugs with XXX on them. Three of his cousins/ wives would be chasing around about a dozen half feral kids and a fourth cousin/ wife would be hunting squirrels with a musket so they had something to eat at night. That's why I put up a picture of some hillbillies. Because that's what people from West Virginia are. Normally I would be worried about offending an entire state, but until Bill Gates makes a computer with a bunch of pictures instead of a keyboard that runs on coal, I don't think I have to worry about West Virginians.

I was totally going to photoshop pictures of Jones and Henry and Moss and Sauerbrun onto that picture until I realized that I have no idea how to use photoshop, and only a vague idea of what photoshop is.