Oklahoma 62- Tulsa 21
I really only give a shit about this game because it won me money. I bet the over, though- not the line. Fuck Oklahoma
Colorado 42- Miami (OH) 0
What a great fucking game. It's been 2 years since we handed someone their panties and kicked them the fuck out with cab fare, rubbing their assholes and wondering where they were. Dear Miami of Ohio- you are in Boulder, you suck in the sack, and we gave you chlamydia. I couldn't watch the game, so head over to the sidebar for the Slushy Gutter recap. Because I am a nerd, I watched the game play by play on the internet, and I can say that the score should have been at least 56-0, but we knelt at the end of the game when we were on the goal line, and Stupid Patrick Williams fumbled at the 4. He didn't even catch the ball. It was a hand off (end around? I don't know), and he fumbled. Turn that guy into a defensive back and be done with it. Then he can swat at the ball like a young lad swatting flies on the farm, and no one would care. But please don't rely on him to hold the ball ever again.
Nebraska 41- Ball State 40
Ball State, which is just north of Taint Tech, almost beat Nebraska. That would have made the weekend perfect. Because Miami is in the same conference as Ball, and Miami won the head to head already. 40 points to Ball State? Blackshirts say what?
LSU 28- South Carolina 16
LSU ran the patent pending Jake Plummer/ Jason Elam fake field goal (toss over the holder's head), and the first thing I thought was, "even their fucking kicker is fast." After watching the broadcast, I really enjoyed seeing Mike, LSU's live tiger mascot in it's habitat. It makes me think every team with an animal mascot should have the real live animal. Also, South Carolina would be hilarious if they had a live chicken on the sideline.
I also believe they should switch up the conferences, based on mascot. There'd be a "Dude" Conference, with West Virginia (Mountaineers), Notre Dame (Fighting Irish), USC (Trojans), Michigan State (Spartans), et cetera. Next would be the Awesome Animal Conference, with Wisconsin (Badgers), Michigan (Wolverines), Colorado (Buffaloes), Florida (Gators), Oregon State (Beavers), et cetera. You'd also have a Tiger conference (Missouri, LSU, Auburn), Bear Conference (Montana, UCLA, Cal), Dog Conference (Washington, Georgia, Tennessee and Texas A&M both have dumb dog mascots)... you get the idea. The biggest problem is how to incorporate the Akron Zips. On that note:
I also believe they should switch up the conferences, based on mascot. There'd be a "Dude" Conference, with West Virginia (Mountaineers), Notre Dame (Fighting Irish), USC (Trojans), Michigan State (Spartans), et cetera. Next would be the Awesome Animal Conference, with Wisconsin (Badgers), Michigan (Wolverines), Colorado (Buffaloes), Florida (Gators), Oregon State (Beavers), et cetera. You'd also have a Tiger conference (Missouri, LSU, Auburn), Bear Conference (Montana, UCLA, Cal), Dog Conference (Washington, Georgia, Tennessee and Texas A&M both have dumb dog mascots)... you get the idea. The biggest problem is how to incorporate the Akron Zips. On that note:
UCLA 44- Washington 31
UCLA would be so much cooler if they followed CU's lead and ran onto the field behind a live bear. As it is, they kind of just stand their and jump around a little and kind of jog in behind some dudes with flags that spell out U-C-L-A. I know, because the third Big Money Field Trip too place this past Saturday night, as Jewger and I meandered all the way into exotic Pasadena to take in this game. UCLA needs an old man to prompt the crowd into the DE-FENSE cheer, and their other cheers include: UCLLLLLLA FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT and GO BRUINS. No cursing, no singing, no fun. Advantage: Colorado. The Bruins won because of third string QB McLeod Bethel-Something, who handed off to perfection on the way to several scoring drives, as the Bruins pulled away late. Jake Locker is ginormous, but not very accurate yet. He still made enough plays to win the game, but the defense couldn't respond to the overwhelming averageness of Khalil Bell, Chris Markey, and Pat Cowan. Bruce Davis, Dennis Keyes, and Spencer Havner, um, I mean Christian Taylor, were pretty good on defense, but overall, they were very whelming.
But, I have now been to three PAC-10 Stadiums in the last year (counting the USC trip The U and I made last year). I'll be going to Cal in 2010, so I might need to add a new goal to my block. When living in Big XII country, I made it to every Big 12 stadium, so every PAC-10 stadium may be next, given my current standing on the left coast. It's too bad I missed the Washington game a few years ago. Does (did) CU have a return game to Pullman? Because if so, I'm half way there!
----------------But, I have now been to three PAC-10 Stadiums in the last year (counting the USC trip The U and I made last year). I'll be going to Cal in 2010, so I might need to add a new goal to my block. When living in Big XII country, I made it to every Big 12 stadium, so every PAC-10 stadium may be next, given my current standing on the left coast. It's too bad I missed the Washington game a few years ago. Does (did) CU have a return game to Pullman? Because if so, I'm half way there!
Now playing: The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome
via FoxyTunes
2 comments:
Celestine and J Smith continue to play well, and with McKnight being Cody's "go-to" guy, time is running out for PWilliams. Weird, especially since he was our best player in the sheep game. The ASU drops are f*cking with his head.
The Buffs and WSU are done; we avoided going to Pullman when the Cougs moved the game to the Seahawks stadium in 04. Mike Price wasn't on the sideline humping anyone.
Isn't Taint Tech in between Ball State and Anus A&M? (Wait, I have one more bad joke) If CU ever plays them, let's not go to their stadium, the Toilet Bowl. No one mows the field, and the fertilizer is real.
By the way, I've been to Autzen Stadium in Eugene and Beaver Stadium in Corvallis. Autzen is awesome. Corvallis sucks ass. Stay away. Beaver Stadium should be renamed, fuckin', false advertising.
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