Sun Nov. 4 at Detroit Ford Field 1:00 PM EST CBS
The Detroit Lions suck. That's not an opinion, that's a fact. We can talk about the fact that Lions fans were cheering the acquisition of former Broncos the Human Turnstile and the Hands of Crisco as upgrades, but more important is this- the Lions don't have cheerleaders. What the eff? How is that fair? Granted, there isn't much to cheer about, so the cheerleaders would probably end up just depressed and doing shots on the sidelines like the cheerleaders at the beginning of The Waterboy, but shouldn't Lions fans experience something nice as part of their game day experience? I've never been to Detroit, but I have no problem resorting to wild stereotypes, so I'm gonna say that Lions fans drive past tire fires and gangs of roaming feral winos just to get to the stadium, before watching an atrocious brand of football. These people don't even deserve cheerleaders- they deserve strippers. Besides, the Lions play in a dome, so the cheerleaders wouldn't even need those annoying snow bunny cheerleader costumes for when it gets cold outside.
Whatever. Lions fans already know it sucks to be them, so I needn't rub it in. On the field, the Lions have Roy Williams, um, whatever's left of Kevin Jones, and that white guy receiver. What's his name? Oh who cares. I'm gonna call him Ricky Proehl. From now on, every white receiver will be Ricky Proehl. Or maybe Don Beebe. At QB, I've always thought Kitna was pretty underrated, but it won't matter, because Mike Martz seems intent on killing his quarterbacks at every stop, and he's further proven that by trading for the Turnstile, so Kitna better spend the offseason learning the fetal position. By the way- I'll pretty much never forgive the Lions for cutting All Time Big Money fullback Brandon Drumm, the Alaskan Assassin.
Defensively, the Lions have Ernie Sims, Shaun Rogers, and a wish now that they've traded Dre Bly to Denver. Have fun with that, Lions fans! I forget where I'm at, record-wise, but I'm calling this a win.
(oh yeah, and that's a sweet picture of Olandis Gary getting mauled)
1 comment:
Whats hilarious about the Lions is that they consistantly sell out their games! You would think the team with the worst record over the past 5 years would be somewhere near the bottom or even in the middle of ticket sales but they are near the top...
Post a Comment