Cheerleader of the Week: Alex Taylor

We're starting out our cheerleaders of the week using 2006 profiles, because the 2007 versions aren't available yet. It's not surprising, really, because those questionnaires can sometimes take upwards of 20 minutes to fill out. When the 2007 versions come available, I won't bother to update this, because I'm pretty lazy. I might just do a whole other post and hope you won't notice. Anyway, our inaugural Big Money, No Whammies Cheerleader of the Week is Alex Taylor. I chose Alex because I've always thought that chicks with dude names were kind of sassy and also because it was easy to find her myspace profile. Because I have a lot of free time, I also discovered that one of her internet friends is an internet friend of my brother, and another of her internet friends graduated from the same high school I did, so Alex Taylor and I are practically BFF, whatever the fuck that means. Let's examine her bio:

Best thing about being a Broncos Cheerleader? The high level of involvement we have in the community and being able to perform with 33 talented and wonderful women. (Personally, I would think that the best thing would be the ability to tart around in chaps and a halter top. People always look at me funny when I wear that on the bus. Of course, the ability to perform with 33 women also appeals to me...)

Most memorable experience as a cheerleader? Traveling through Qatar, Afghanistan, Bahrain and Italy to visit and perform for our overseas troops. (and I once went to Coachella, which is in the middle of the desert. See- we were made for each other)

Your most important goal in life? To be happy (ugh- really? That's a pretty boring goal. I think she can do better, like "I really want to see a monkey in a cowboy suit fight a drunk midget dressed up like an Oompa Loompa")

Two people you would most like to have dinner with? My papa who passed away last year and Robin Williams. (Robin Williams? As in, Mork- Robin Williams? This chick has some seriously low standards, which is good, because that's the first thing I look for in a woman).

Favorite sport to participate in? Probably water sports. I'm not saying I am the best at all of them…but I sure have fun making a fool out of myself. (Oh man. Since you can't see me, picture a really handsome man with big muscles snickering into his hand... water sports... classic)

Three words that best describe me: Goofy, inquisitive and genuine. (Three words that describe me are: supple, dazzling smile, and Batman. I'm just sayin, is all)

In short, Alex Taylor is a lot better looking than me, which wouldn't be a problem, except it also appears that she's smarter than me as well. That's going to make it a lot more difficult to lure her into the van I have parked out behind 7-11. I'm gonna need a better plan Right now, all I've got is this:

and I don't think that's gonna cut it. Finally, after perusing her myspace profile, I'm a little disconcerted that she's chosen one of my least favorite NOFX songs with which to present her profile. We need to change that. Íince she's one of those "I like everything" people, I've decided to challenge that. From here on out, Alex Taylor's theme song will be "Any Way You Choose To Give It (Boy 8-Bit Version)", by the Black Ghosts.


As always, song links are downloadable. Finally, here's a bonus picture of our inaugural Cheerleader of the Week, together with our honorary Cheerleader of 2006, Kollette Klassen: