No One Wants To Play For Denver

Let's recap Denver's trades so far, shall we? Thus far, Denver has traded the Human Turnstile, Butterfingers McFallsalot, and a draft pick for Dre Bly, and another draft pick for Big Daddy Wilkinson. All sounds well, right? Wrong. Turns out that neither of those guys are particularly chuffed about wearing the ol' blue and orange (sources close to Wilkinson confirm that orange stripes make him look "hippy").

Bly's agent keeps saying that Bly never said publicly that he didn't like Denver, but the only word in any of his statements that means anything is publicly. Publicly should be in big bold font, and the rest should all be dismissed. There's no reason to add the word publicly unless Bly had said that he didn't want to play in Denver privately.

And who could blame him? He was looking forward to playing in his hometown for a big fat new contract. Instead, he's playing in a city that shoots pro athletes for, well, still a big contract, but not as big as Daddy Warbucks back in DC throws out.

Next up is Wilkinson. No one can find the fatso. Not Miami, who traded him, and not Denver, who traded for him. The trade should have been voided on Friday when he didn't show for a physical, but wasn't. Most likely Shanahan realized he would've screwed up the draft pick anyway, so there was no point in voiding the trade. Word around town is that he might retire, but that he's probably only pretending because he doesn't want to participate in the offseason training program.

And why would an old, perennially out of shape defensive tackle need to stay in shape? I mean he's only going from sea level to a mile above sea level. No biggie. Gary Zimmerman used to do this all the time. He would retire every year, and then unretire about halfway through the preseason. The difference? Gary Zimmerman was a borderline Hall of Famer who knew the system. Dan Wilkinson just poked his head out of water to receive a fish. Hey look! I found him! Quick, someone catch him before he escapes back into the wild!