JaMarcus the Hut

Above is an artist's rendering of what JaMarcus Russell probably looks like right now. He went to the draft combine but didn't do anything other than wander around wearing a little girl's backpack and mumble when people asked him questions because he said he wasn't in shape after a few weeks on the banquet circuit. His listed playing weight was 260, but according to my sources (watching tv), he was at least 285 at the combine, so apparently when he went to those banquets and the servers asked him if he wanted soup or salad, his answer was "chicken fried bacon, please."

Broncos fans should get used to seeing him, because it's looking more and more like the half life of Al Davis is going to draft him as the first overall pick. That's because he's approximately 8 feet tall and can throw the ball 80 yards in the air. The bigger question is whether he can do that while lying on his back, because playing behind an offensive line that includes Robert Gallery, that's the position he'll find himself in by the time Randy Moss decides to mosey 80 yards down the field. Have fun with that, JaMarcus!

JaMarcus the Hut's theme song mp3- Banquet (Phones Disco Edit) by Bloc Party