In a move described as "shocking" by such respected 
football insiders as the guy on the corner of Beverly Glen and Santa Monica Blvd. who asked me if I had any change, the JV Broncos have decided to part ways with all around horrible human being Bradlee Van Pelt. During the press conference I made up in my head, head coach Gary Kubiak cited all of the reasons listed in this Pulitzer Prize worthy piece of journalism. Also noted as a secondary reason is the fact that he's generally useless in any discernible quarterbacking skill. That picture on the left is Mullethead grinning like an idiot with respected Denver singer Hazel Miller, right before poisoning her drink and raping her dog while wearing that ugly shirt and stupid fedora. I assume, anyway. Who wears fedoras? What are you, a private eye from the 40's? Don't worry Texans fan, you haven't lost a quarterback, you've gained another unemployed redneck, so he should fit right in in Texas. I expect he'll be putting an El Camino up on blocks in his front yard within the week. Also cut was fellow former Denver Bronco Charlie Adams.
(I know I said that I was going to keep using the last post for cutdown day info, but it turns out that I really don't give a shit. It's not like I have any credibility anyway)
football insiders as the guy on the corner of Beverly Glen and Santa Monica Blvd. who asked me if I had any change, the JV Broncos have decided to part ways with all around horrible human being Bradlee Van Pelt. During the press conference I made up in my head, head coach Gary Kubiak cited all of the reasons listed in this Pulitzer Prize worthy piece of journalism. Also noted as a secondary reason is the fact that he's generally useless in any discernible quarterbacking skill. That picture on the left is Mullethead grinning like an idiot with respected Denver singer Hazel Miller, right before poisoning her drink and raping her dog while wearing that ugly shirt and stupid fedora. I assume, anyway. Who wears fedoras? What are you, a private eye from the 40's? Don't worry Texans fan, you haven't lost a quarterback, you've gained another unemployed redneck, so he should fit right in in Texas. I expect he'll be putting an El Camino up on blocks in his front yard within the week. Also cut was fellow former Denver Bronco Charlie Adams.(I know I said that I was going to keep using the last post for cutdown day info, but it turns out that I really don't give a shit. It's not like I have any credibility anyway)
UPDATE: former Air Academy star Zach Latimer was let go by the Chargers, because they don't deserve him. Owner of the greatest name in the history of names Buck Ortega was cut by the Browns. now he can go back to his obvious career choice- porn. Expect Buck Ortega and the Insert Funny Porn Title to hit shelves in the back of seedy video stores by Christmas. It makes a great stocking stuffer! Hey, I got it- Buck Ortega and the Stocking Stuff Her. There, that's good enough. Hey, they can't all be gold.
2 comments:
Sunshine Mullet had a loft right here in downton Den and was a regular at a bar across the street. Friends of mine would get picts just like the one you have posted.
The dude became a caricature of himself after his Junior year at Goat U. The could've maybe doen something had he moved to S or maybe a LB. However, those postions require something between the ears, so enjoy Winnipeg, Brad.
You're a real ass for saying that Buck's next profession is in the porn industry. Have you ever even met him? Why would you belittle him like that when you have no reason to? AND his name is seriously not that funny. Grow up and try to control your imagination from running too wild.
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