I'm not exactly sure what Adrian Peterson is doing up there, but there's a good chance that whatever it is, it's about to cause him a semi serious injury. I think part of his problem is that he's such a good athlete. Stay with me now- being a great athlete means that he's constantly subjecting his muscles to wear and tear by lifting extremely heavy weights, and that's before he even gets on the field. That's why I never work out- I treat my muscles like veal. Plus, he has very little body fat, so there's not much in the way of protection. Me- LOTS of protective and insulating body fat. My body's like a damn Thermos, I'm so insulated. And I never get injured, because Thermoses are tough. You could learn something from me, Peterson.
Either that, or he's made of chicken bones and papier mâchè. One of those. What? I'm not a doctor. jeez
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